Granddaughters

During the past four years we have watched our grandson grow from a tiny baby into an inquisitive, intelligent and confident little boy. Almost a year ago his sister came into the world and again we watched in amazement as a totally different character formed. Then, just three months ago, we were blessed with another granddaughter. Daphne lives closer so we can marvel at the almost daily development of her little personality. Maybe the presence of these young ladies in my life has made me more sensitive to reports of violence against women. Whatever the reason, these reports are a common theme recently.

The first report to catch my ear was on the radio as I was driving to work. The commentator explained that current economic turmoil is increasing the stresses inside many US families. A sign of this stress is an increase in the number of reports of domestic violence and assaults against women. The second nudge was from a totally different source – a photography magazine. There is a reference to Joyce Tenneson in the current issue of Shutterbug. It is illustrated by some posters from her portraits each with the slogan, “When violence against women stops, I will . . . . . .” The subjects’ hopes are usually something most men take for granted, like “I will be able to walk alone”. The latest nudge was a television program about the Taliban restrictions on women in Pakistan. Two little girls showed their school – or rather what remained of their school after those “students of religious knowledge” destroyed it. The father of one girl observed that the goal of this destruction was to chain his daughter’s mind. That statement seared my consciousness because just a few days earlier I took this photograph of one of my favorite bookworms. She may be sitting on the ground but there are no chains on her mind or imagination. They are off with the story in that book. She is flying totally free from the grey world around.

Sadly, even in the USA not everything is wonderful. This bookworm and my granddaughters will face dangers close to home as they get older. It is estimated that domestic partners assault between 2 million and 4 million US women every year. About 25 percent of the female population will be abused in their lifetime. Violence against women is a serious crime in most countries. Yet even in the US there is a perverted belief in some circles that it can be acceptable and even understandable male behavior. I don’t have an answer to that stupidity except more education – especially fathers educating their sons that violence towards women is always a sign of an impotent coward. Maybe we also need to add a dose of public ridicule to the criminal punishment of abusers. The fear of ridicule by one’s friends and neighbors is a great deterrent and a powerful force for changing male conduct. Ridicule might even highlight the moral bankruptcy of the Taliban and lead to faster changes in their behavior than current political policies (which only seem to bring them more recruits).

I also admit I just do not understand how any person who beats women can claim to be a “man”. It is certainly not Christian conduct. Regardless of religion, at a fundamental level, it is simply uncivilized. Maybe that is the answer. Those who abuse women are just not civilized and certainly not honorable. I have no difficulty accepting that description for the Taliban. Honesty also forces me to accept the same description for many of my countrymen. That realization means I, and anyone else reading this, must always be vigilant to make sure all our daughters and granddaughters can grow in freedom so that violence is never a part of their lives.